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  • Reflections on 2009 - By Guest Blogger Darla Lorance

    “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”--C.S. Lewis

    I was afraid of love. After my unrealistic dream of a family failed to work out....I made sure I surrounded myself with those who I suspected were not able to give love. However, once I allowed myself to love and trust Christ...the door opened again....and Love is the way by which 2009 began...and ended. Along with loving though, comes pain.“The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twis
    t them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.”--Thomas Merton. It wasn't until January 2009 that I knew I was ready to remarry my husband...I was ready to be vulnerable again...and to risk everything and...nothing. Most of us spend a life time dreaming and searching for the soul to fit...Joe and I had found each other long ago in high school and for many years were able to have a loving family...that is until life got complicated...and we became fearful. We spent the next 17 years wandering in the wilderness, learning to be grateful for manna...discovering that we were not alone and imitations of love can for a long time make you follow idols. In January 2009 we began to see the unfolding of true love.

    Then Bev died...my step mother...who in almost every way was my Mom. Through the years Bev was married to my Dad...she loved me, loved Joe and loved our children. “The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before. That's the deal.”--C.S. Lewis. I continue to miss Bev and I know my Dad is lost...more than ever. He keeps his pain to himself, grudgingly, angrily, shaking his fist at the world...at the God he screams his disbelief to..."damn you everyone!" Dad is one of those people who I love...and whose scripted course did not take into account they are not the ones in charge. “There are two kinds of people: those who say to God, "Thy will be done," and those to whom God says, "All right, then, have it your way”--C.S. Lewis. My Dad has been trying to have it his own way for some time now...I am pretty sure that it might not be workin' for him anymore...especially after Bev died. My Dad and Bev were suppose to travel the world together, finding interesting places to play golf...then things changed when Alzheimer’s became a reality ten years ago. Dad took loving care of Bev...listening to him, hearing what he did each day for her...let me know for the first time in my life...my Dad had learned the gift of loving...and now Dad is experiencing the pain that comes from loving...we get them both wrapped up in that package called Love...the alternative is to live as C.S. Lewis suggests..." unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable."

    April not only brought celebration of the resurrection of Christ through the remembrance of Easter...but restoration beginnings in our family. I discovered a new baby was going to join us this year. Hearing that precious one's heartbeat at the very first doctor visit made me cry...although a lot of things with family make me cry. I often find myself crying over the things I have missed...mostly because I was being selfish...or just plain scared. Funny how sometimes attention looks like love, jealousy takes on the appearance of security, and obsession can seem like desire. We humans spend years seeking belongingness...and when we fail to find it in another...we begin to search for it in things and places. Funny how we often find what we are looking for right in front of us...where it has been all along. God has been like that...I thought He had abandoned me...but not so...He has been holding me all along. Belongingness has its beginnings with the discovery and acceptance of the unconditional love from my Father. Once I realized and accepted how much I am loved...then I began to love myself and I then belonged.

    May and June rushed by and before we knew it Joe and I were standing at our church, full of family and friends, facing our son, who pronounced us once again husband and wife. A few days later we learned Casey would be having a little girl come December. Joy...that is the only word to describe what I was feeling as July drew to a close...However...along with the sunshine, some rain must fall...or how would we ever know what happiness feels like? “We were promised sufferings. They were part of the program. We were even told, ''Blessed are they that mourn.''--C.S. Lewis. The darkness will come as sure as the light...seasons are forever changing and nothing will stay the same...even for a moment...not even the painful moments will last long. Troubling times came soon enough. And remembering God does not promise us a smooth life...in fact, He warns us there are going to be suffering times, has help me not to allow happenings to overwhelm. I have heard this question many times...if there really is a God, then why would He allow some of the terrible things to happen? Like the sudden unexpected death of three year old Cooper? My small mind cannot grasp the plans that God has for Cooper...I just know Coop is with Jesus. But I also realize some other things...this world we live in, we as a collection of human beings, have in many ways influenced outcomes. God gave us free will...remember back in the day...all the way to Eden? Things started out perfect...and for some reason we did not like it that way ...we wanted more and so there we went hanging out with snakes and eatin' apples. Free will gives us some choices in the way we live...but I have noticed that when things get rough with all this free will, we often go crying to God to fix things. I have been there many times...down on my knees, panic praying. I have known many people, including myself, who have had things...well pretty good...and then for whatever reason...sneak a look at where the wild things grow...and when bitten cry out to God...why did you let that happen? Jesus is not going to rescue us from the world...instead He is here to walk us through the world. I have often thought if I am going to question God about the bad things...then I must also question Him about the good things. Cooper helped me to see that I will be thankful for all of it; the good and the bad...both are predictable because I live in the world and I am going to make it through all of it only with my Father who is the giver of great blessings. “If I discover within myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world”--C.S. Lewis. I am not suppose to remain here, this is the world and its not suppose to be perfect and I am not to be comfortable. In this world, people will get sick, do bad things, make mistakes, the unexpected will happen, moments will contain great j
    oy and greater sorrow and children will die and while I am in this world I will no longer grieve the past but embrace the lessons learned and hold each miracle to my heart, enjoying the gift for as long as God has in mind. It is in heaven where I will find perfection...where in the absence of suffering I will live eternally...but not on my time. I am NOT in charge. “God, who foresaw your tribulation, has specially armed you to go through it, not without pain but without stain”--C.S. Lewis.

    November and then December gave way to family gatherings and celebrations. A wonderful Thanksgiving dinner with Joe and Casey...a tremendous snow storm watched within the warmth of a home anticipating the arrival of Addy...and the enjoyment of Christmas dinner at Joey's has enveloped our family with a sense of closeness as we face together some uncertain times. Not everything is perfect...our family is still healing and some are still lightly stepping...just as it should be. We have things, as a family, we will be facing soon...losses that will from Faith grow miracles in this coming year. “I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.”--C.S. Lewis. And because I have a light by which I can see clearly...I am no longer afraid to lo
    ve fully...all that is...just as it is.

    2009 ended with love just as it began...Addyson Ainsley Joe Lorance appeared on the 28th day of December...a belated Christmas treasure. She brings hope to us...a renewed sense of purpose to make sure each of us live the life we have been gifted. Each of us in this family will have a purpose in AJ's life...just as we have discovered a connectiveness to each other. I would not be the same without Jay or Cody or Joey or Casey and most certainly not the same without Joe...nor would they be the same without me. Each of us...have a promise to each other and to the children we are raising up. In 2010, I am seeking wisdom...guidance in all things so my life will continue to reflect who I follow. I am never alone and this year, 2010, I begin with my family close around me...all of them...for the first time in many years. I am profoundly blessed.

    Wishing you profound blessings in 2010,
    Darla

  • Blood and Gore in the Bible

     

     

         While I was away, a question was asked during one of our 1Stone Noonday events.  The question had to do with murder, killing, war, etc.  In essence, it seems that the question had to do with why killing/war seemed to be okay in the Old Testament but bad in the New Testament.  Actually, the question seemed to be asked from the perspective of assuming that killing and war are always fundamentally wrong.  I’m not really sure how the question was answered at the time, but let me reflect on it a bit here.  Enjoy!

         God is consistent when it comes to punishing sin.  He uses various means, but the wages of sin has always been death (Gen. 2:17, Rom. 6:23).  Sometimes those means are what we might consider supernatural, as in the case of Sodom and Gomorrah (Gen. 20:23-29), Egypt (Ex. 7-12), or Herod (Acts 12:20-23).  But at many other times, God uses human agents to carry out His punishment of sin.  Examples of this abound in the Bible, including the entire book of Judges, scripture recounting the downfall and exile of the Israelites, and the execution of the two thieves who were crucified on either side of Jesus.  In each of these cases, God used human agents to mete out the punishment that the sins of other humans deserved (Lk. 23:41).  Of course, the ultimate example of this is the crucifixion of Jesus Christ.  In this case, God punished the only truly innocent person for the sin of humanity.  And God used human agents (e.g. Roman soldiers, Jewish leaders, etc.) to carry out that punishment.

         When people object to the conquest of the promised land, they usually do so without seriously reflecting on the entire Biblical narrative.  First, they fail to see that most of the suffering and death recorded in the Bible is against the people of God.  When various enemies attacked and oppressed the twelve tribes during the Judges period, when the Assyrians wiped out the northern kingdom, and when the Babylonians conquered Judea, they did so as agents of God’s wrath (Jer. 25:9).  I’ve never heard a skeptic complain about this fact, but the reality is that God brought about the death of more Israelites than perhaps any other ethnic group in the Old Testament.  Does this make God anti-Semitic?  Of course not.  But it does make clear that God takes sin very seriously and is committed to obliterating it. 

         Thus the conquest of Canaan must be understood as a case of God using the Israelites as his agents to carry out the punishment of the sin of the Canaanite people.  This is exactly what the Scripture teaches.  Note that in the Abrahamic covenant, God promises that Abraham’s descendents will inherit the land of Canaan.  But God also says that they cannot inherit the land right away.  They would have to wait for many years (over 400) for “the iniquity of the Amorites” was not yet “complete” (Gen. 15:16).  That is, God made his chosen people wait hundreds of years (even in great suffering and exploitation), before finally punishing the inhabitants of Canaan (generally referred to as Amorites).  To put it another way, the Canaanites had more than 400 years to repent from the time Abraham was living among them as a witness to the day Joshua led the Israelites across the Jordan river.

         Some people, of course, have a problem with God commanding the Israelites to conquer cities and regions, killing the inhabitants.  But the only real difference between this and the Babylonian conquest of Judea is that the Israelites knew they were God’s instruments of punishment.  And knowing this was simply a product of their covenant relationship with God -- the very relationship that the Canaanites had consistently rejected since the days of Abraham.  To be sure, there were some Canaanites who repented of their sin.  These were spared (e.g. Jos. 6:25). 

         Others may object to the fact that children were included among those who were killed during the conquest of Canaan.  But this simply reflects the more collectivist worldview of the Bible versus a more Western, individualistic worldview.  There are cases in the Bible when children were to be punished along with adults if the punishment was against an entire family or society.  This could happen just as easily to the Israelites as to non-Israelites (e.g. Josh. 8:22-26).

         It is important to state outright that these Biblical events should not be seen as a justification for genocide or for “holy war.”  There is no standing command in the Bible that instructs the people of God to wage war against the unfaithful.  The standing commands we have are to love our neighbor and to proclaim the way of salvation to all peoples and nations.  At the same time, Jesus doesn’t represent a philosophical break with the God of the Old Testament.  While it is tempting for us to view Jesus as a ultra-pacifist hippie that wants to “make love, not war," we must remember that Jesus Christ is the God of the Old Testament.  He specifically said that he came not to bring peace but a sword (Mat. 10:34), he was more commonly mistaken to be a radical revolutionary that would overthrow the Romans than an ascetic hermit that wanted everyone to just get along, and he was not above using violence to get his point across (Jn. 2:15).  Jesus Christ hated sin and came into the world to destroy it.

         Finally, let’s keep in mind that there is a difference between murder and killing.  This is most clearly seen in Genesis 6 when we see that anyone who sheds the blood of another human will have his blood shed by a human.  Surely this doesn’t mean that then the executioner will have to be executed and on and on until the human race is wiped out.  No, in the law of Moses, regulations are established for the punishment of sin which include the death penalty.  Jesus didn’t forbid the death penalty during his earthly ministry, but rather submitted willingly to it.  Moreover, the apostolic witness indicates that governing officials should continue to “bear the sword” as instruments of God’s wrath against sin (Rom. 13:4).

         The truth is, as human beings, we delight in the punishment and eradication of evil.  I just watched the movie Valkyrie last week which is the story of a failed attempt to assassinate Adolph Hitler.  Now, I would venture to say that nearly everyone in that theater was cheering for the people who were trying to assassinate Hitler.  Why? Because we hate evil.  There is something in us (perhaps the image of God) that cries out to God for sin to be eliminated.  We hate injustice, oppression, deceit, greed, abuse, etc.  Even now, if a pedophile or a terrorist is punished, we are glad.  So why do we cringe when God punishes sin in the Bible?  In particular, when God uses the Israelites as his agents to punish the Canaanites, why do we feel upset?  My guess is that we have tended to misunderstand sin.  In particular, our culture has taught us that certain sins such as sexual immorality, murder, and racism are especially heinous while others aren’t particularly bad.  But the first and greatest command is to love God.  So it would follow that the first and greatest sin is to not love God.  Now if that is true, we understand that the person who rejects God is engaging in sin that is more severe than the Holocaust or 9/11. 

         Well, I’m going to stop now.  Need to move on to other things.  Think this over, I look forward to your feedback.

     

     


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